We rolled into Branson, MO on a Monday. It is the Gatlinburg of the Ozarks, the Vegas of the midwest, a city with live shows, a city that has something for everyone, a city that never closes. Or so I thought. My vision of Branson and its reality were miles apart. We were headed west from TN on our way to KS and decided that Branson would be a fun, cheesy place to celebrate my 55th birthday. We dropped the trailer and got ready to hit the town.
My husband threatened to get tickets to a dinner show with jousting and turkey legs. I was thinking more Elvis impersonators, 70s-90s decade reviews and the Oak Ridge Boys. The fact that we were one of only four campers in the RV park should have been a clue to what lay in store. After living at the beach for three years, I wanted to see snow...even flurries would be great. We left this morning in gale force winds and low-50s temps. Oh, and it's going to snow tomorrow. After searching the internet and all those obnoxious “coupon book” sites, we realized that there were no shows playing in town and we were about 6 weeks too early. Ok, so we’ll grab some dinner at a nice restaurant. Nope. That was not to be either. We had the choice of Taco Bell, Carl’s Jr., KFC, or the local Exxon station that night. We did find that there were two restaurants open the following day so we gave up. Looks like the closest I'll get to dinner and a show in Branson in the late winter is parking next to a cow pasture with a bucket of chicken.
Once we stopped laughing at the lack of options, I started getting a little mad about the whole thing. I suddenly stomped my foot like a toddler mid-tantrum and cried this is crap. That set off another round of hilarity and we chalked it up to lack of research. Live RV and learn. I did have quite a surprise the next morning. I was serenaded just before 6am by a wandering gang of murder chickens (geese) just outside our camper door. What a way to wake up. The weather cooperated during our stay and we were treated to torrential downpours and flurries that we dodged in and out of trying to make it to Guy Fieri’s restaurant next to Bass Pro Shop. How very Branson. After everything I realized that it was honestly a birthday that I will never forget. We still crack up sometimes thinking about it. Well played Branson, well played.
NOTE: From January 15th-March 1st, Branson is closed. The whole thing. Don’t make our mistake.
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